Of States and Stereotypes
by GallifreyanUsagi
Summary: America has 50 states, and they live up to their stereotypes. Who would've thought these 'special' personifications where a little wacky...in some ways.
1. My State Bird is the Nascar!

**A.N. First Hetalia fic!**

**BY THIS FIC I DON'T MEAN TO INSULT ANYONE. Some of these stereotypes are really mean and/or suggestive.**

**I'm from a state and when I heard the stereotype I gasped, then rewinded, then laughed.**

**Laughed at my own state.**

**I just mean this to be humorous, that's all.**

**I don't own the stereotypes either.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia-Axis Powers.**

**ALABAMA: My state bird is the Nascar!**

"Quiet down!" America called back to the house were all of his Fifty States were. Yes, he said Fifty.

Fifty freaking rambunctious teenagers.

It's a wonderful life...

"Daddy!" Alabama, one of America's little girls ran in, "'York's teasing my state bird!"

"The Yellowhammer?" America raised an eyebrow at New York, who was currently trying to hold back laughter...

Badly.

"DADDY!"

"What bird are we talking about?" America took a swig of soda.

"The Nascar!"

"Um...sweetie?" America tried to put his thoughts into words as New York howled with laughter.

"My state bird is the Nascar!" Alabama whined.

He could've sworn Hawaii was beginning to wake up.

No wait...false alarm.

"Become one?"

Alabama jumped, "AlASKA!"

"What?" Alaska put on her best angelic face.

"My mini-Russian," America sighed, "I'm having a serious talk here, please go somewhere else."

Alaska pouted, but left.

"Nascar isn't your state bird," America took his soda again.

"What?" Alabama's eyes filled again, "But it is! I swear!"

"Nascar is car racing," America nodded, reaching for the TV remote, "Like this,"

He turned on Nascar.

Alabama reacted, "Oooo..."

**A.N. Again, I don't mean any offense, but I just found these hilarious.**

**REVIEWING WILL MAKE MY UPDATE FASTER.**

**...**

**Next State: ALASKA!**


	2. Seasonal Depression

**A.N. I'm back y'all!**

**ALASKA: I can see seasonal depression from here.**

Alaska was sitting at the very, _very _long dinner table. Seemingly staring at nothing.

"Hey," America sat down opposite from him, "What's up my mini-Russian.

"Winter," Alaska immediately responded, devoid of emotion.

"Oh," America sat back, he had no idea what to do.

You'd think he'd learn in about a century?

Apparently not.

"Smile!" America cheered, goading Alaska, "Smile for papa!"

Alaska gave him a fake falsetto smile.

"Can I see Russia?" she then asked.

"NO!" America yelled, "NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT, NOPE!"

"Daddy," Alaska looked at him, "Why not?"

"Um..." America was pondering this.

How on Earth could he say to his child that the child's 'dad' was a psycho?

"You're dad's a psycho,"

Excellent wording, America!

"What?" Alaska began to sound distressed.

Delaware instantly jumped on the scene and carted Alaska off from America.

"Okay, maybe I _could _have worded that better,"

"Ya think?" New Jersey was laughing in the corner.

"Can it," New York snapped.

They both opened their mouths.

"SHUT UP!" a little girls voice carried through the room.

"Alaska?"

**A.N. Sorry for the short chapters.**

**I'm planning on writing short chapters but being able to update more often.**

**Da?**

**MULTIPLE CHOICE:**

**A) REVIEW**

**B) BECOME ONE WITH RUSSIA**

**Next:**

**ARIZONA!**


	3. Mexicans and Indians

**A.N. I didn't think this would get so many reviews! Please keep reviewing!**

**ARIZONA: Keeping Indians in and Mexicans out.**

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd," Arizona whined.

America felt his head what was wrong now? Quickly finishing his burger he made his way over there.

"What?" America asked.

"The Mexicans are coming in! We need more border control!" Arizona whined.

"Why is this being brought up now?" America groaned, if he was late to the meeting again, Iggy would kill him, _again._

"Because I was wondering if I looked fat, do I look fat to you?" Arizona turned sideways.

"No, 'Zona," America slapped his face, "You look fine,"

"I need more of them Native Americans," Arizona tapped his chin as he was leaving, "They know how to through a good thankful party,"

"IT'S CALLED THANKSGIVING, YOU DUMPKOFF!" New York called from around the house.

"It's still a par-tay!" California cheered and left with Arizona.

"Why me?" America looked at the sky/ceiling, "Why me?"

**A.N. Review!**

**Next chapter:**

**ARKANSAS**


	4. Walmart

**A.N. I'm back again!**

**ARKANSAS: Great scenery, brilliant people, *laughs* um...we got Wal-Mart?**

"I bet I have more tourist attractions than any of you little-ings," Nevada slurred, drunk off his head.

"Oh, really?" New York stood up from where he was watching the baseball game, "Do you have the Empire State building?"

"Maybe somewhere in Vegas," Nevada shrugged, "Not like I can remember,"

"_I _have Hollywood!" California proclaimed, "The beginning of _all _the movies!"

"Um..." Wyoming looked at California, "They make movies everywhere,"

"No! In Hollywood, DUH!"

Arkansas felt like it was his time, his place, his...state...ish...(P.S. They were in D.C., who has a personification, but we'll get to that later).

Arkansas stood up.

"You have something you want to brag about?" Maryland moaned from the couch.

"Well..." Arkansas started.

"Will it be weird?" Georgia asked.

"Um..." Arkansas scratched his head, "No!"

New Jersey plugged his ears, don't want to get the weird cells.

"We have great scenery," Arkansas began.

New York, New Jersey, Maryland, Georgia and etc. raised their eyebrows.

"Brilliant people..." Arkansas begins to laugh nervously.

New York stood up, but before he could start yelling, or, _worse._

Arkansas spoke up, "WE'VE GOT WAL-MART!"

"BRAVO!" California cheered.

"Why," Arkansas looked pleased, "Thank you,"

"I'm watching the Oscars," California looked over her shoulders, "Not you, klutz,"

Arkansas silently cried.

America rushed into the room, "What's wrong! I'm the hero!"

"Dad..." Georgia trailed off.

"You see," America calmed down, slightly, "It went silent, so I thought you guys were taken out by aliens!"

**A.N. Please review!**

**Next up:**

**CALIFORNIA**


	5. Mexicans in Hollywood

**A.N. I'm back with California!**

**CALIFORNIA: Boob jobs and Mexican nerds who want to direct.**

"OH MY GOD!"

Rang throughout the house.

"What happened?" Alabama squeaked.

"Probably just broke a nail," Nevada slurred.

"OH MY GODS!"

"GET OVER IT!" They heard New York's voice sail through the house.

"Become one?" came Alaska's creepy whisper.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What is it, Cali?" America burst into the room, "The hero'll save you!"

"There's so many Mexicans adding twists in my movies," California sniffled.

"Like what?" Pennsylvania asked.

"Like, Mexican stuff!"

"I'm getting a great description here," Delaware sighed.

"So does anyone totally need saving?" America yelled.

"No, dad,"

"Ran all the way up here for nothing!" America cursed.

"Become one?"

"AHHHHHH..." Hawaii screamed.

"I'LL SAVE YOU!"

"All the Mexicans in my state want to write," California stomped her foot, "I'm not sure if I should be proud or upset!"

"Well, if they're as awesome as me I wouldn't see a problem!"

"PRUSSIA!" America burst into the room.

...

...

"It's the awesome me, dad," Pennsylvania looked his father in the eye.

"I totally knew that!" America marched off.

California stomped again, "But are these Mexicans making me fat like Arizona!"

"I CAN HERE YOU, YOU CANVAS FACE!" Arizona screamed.

"Canvas face?" California raised a confused eyebrow.

"Her face isn't as awesome as mine," Penn sighed, "But it's a canvas to all your BLOODY MAKEUP!"

"Iggy?" America appeared.

"ME AGAIN!"

"Sorry, 200+ years of hiding your states as a secret wouldn't get the hero on edge, no...I'M THE HERO!"

Delaware sighed and went back to the TV.

**A.N. Finished.**

**REVIEW!**


	6. Answering Some Reviews

**A.N. I know this won't be a regular chapter, but here's my go at answering my reviews.**

**IF YOU WANT AN ANSWER TO YOUR REVIEWS LOOK BELOW: **

**Note: I'll be answering my reviews every few chapters, so REVIEW!**

**...**

**LunaLovegood'sBestFriend: I recognize you! I learned where you were because my teacher's from Ohio! I THINK OHIO'S COOL!**

**grimyard: You'll have to wait and see for New York and New Jersey...MWHAHAHAHAHAHA (I'm doing alphabetical order)**

**Roseyposey: I'll try some RUSAME sure. **

**Hitman: Sure...I only make chapters short to update faster but I'll try it your way! And *sighs* I'll grab the textbook...**

**Milly: Doing alphabetically, I've always hated how far the 'L' was too.**

**Mochitailia: ALASKA'S ALSO ONE OF MY FAV STATES. So I'll try to add her in more. **

**James Bond (feels so weird typing it as someone's name, by the way): I'll try adding Texas in more, I find him funny also, so just imagine missing states as...somewhere else. *sighs at bad excuse***

**Guest: ALASKA'S COMING! (Who knew she'd be popular?) THE HERO'LL ADD HER IN!**

**USUKfan: I thought you liked Iggy? *gestures to penname* as for hating him...YES, SO MUCH YES!**

**Mika: Have you not seen my latest chapter? I should really see if they actually appear instead of me just placing same chapter after same chapter, it's not like I do that? *whistles***

**Kindredspirit: I feel your pain...as said above THE HERO'LL WRITE LONGER CHAPTERS!**

**Eagle guy: I don't know many Bill Clinton jokes...but okay!**

**Roseyposey: Considering...**

**thatmeddlingkid: THANKS!**


	7. Cocaine and Snow

**A.N. I'm back y'all with the great state of...Colorado!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or the ASDF Movie quote.**

**COLORADO: Snow! I mean cocaine, but we're also famous for skiing.**

Colorado stumbled into the room where some other states were.

"Hello there," Colorado greeted California, "Pretty lady,"

"Oh! Hi!" she waved.

"Daddy!" Hawaii screeched, and when she screeches it is L-O-U-D, "Colorado's high again!"

"It's all rainbows and ponies!" Colorado exclaimed.

"Shame on you," America chanted as he walked into the room.

Colorado stumbled a bit before falling over.

"EVERYBODY DO THE FLOP!" Alaska yelled in delight.

Before falling over herself.

"Is she high to?" Hawaii was wide-eyed.

"No," America sighed, "Just being over dramatic!"

"Rainbows..." Colorado mumbled.

"He's weird," California's nose wrinkled in distaste.

"He's your brother," America fought back.

"Same difference,"

"Well at least it's not anything new," Delaware sighed, no one realized he was there. Like Canada, even Rhode Island sometimes got more attention, he was the FIRST FLIPPING STATE, but enough of that, for now... "Colorado's known for cocaine."

"Snow!" Colorado screamed, "Snow! Snow! Snow!"

"And snow," Delaware added.

Hawaii's eyes knit together in confusion while Alaska stood in an offended position.

"SKIING!"

"Someone call a mental hospital," California covered her face with her perfectly-manicured nails.

**A.N. That's that! Sorry for time of no updating, school word.**

**Do yourself a favor and...**

**REVIEW!**

**Next chapter:**

**CONNECTICUT**


	8. KNOWLEDGE!

**A.N. I'm back y'all! I know, I know, computer crashes=new computer.**

**CONNECTICUT: We have great schools, because there really is nothing else to around here.**

"Can I hang with you?" Rhode Island desperately looked around.

New York looked over, "NO! I mean, no, I'm currently watching the game with the damned Jersey fellow."

"Oh,"

Connecticut smiled, "Come over here!"

Rhode Island looked at her brother in newfound concern, "What will we be doing?"

"Um," Connecticut thought, "We can learn!"

"Anything else we can do?" Rhode Island groaned.

"No! Can't think of anything else to do!"

"There's really nothing else to do around here?" Rhode Island face-palmed.

"SHUT UP!" New York called from the other room.

Rhode Island sighed, "People must always tease me because I'm the smallest state,"

"Forget smallest state," Delaware glared, "I'm bigger than you and people always ask, 'Delaware? What state is that in?', it's freaking annoying,"

Connecticut grinned, "Show them by pointing to yourself on the map, in a true act of knowledge!"

Delaware sighed, "You don't get it, if an English person knows where Delaware is, they have to be the smartest person alive,"

"SHOW THEM YOUR KNOWLEDGE!"

"Don't be so loud," Alabama whined.

"KNOWLEDGE! KNOWLEDGE! KNOWLEDGE!"

"DADDY, CONNECTICUT'S SCARING ME!" the three states in the room whined.

"KNOWLEDGE!"

America walked him, "I'll be the hero! Hey," he leaned out the door, "Come 'ere!"

"Become one?"

Connecticut screamed.

Alaska stood behind him with a psychotic grin on her pale face, "I'm sorry," she looked over at Delaware.

"Who're you?"

"I'M DELAWARE!"

**A.N. I just had to add Delaware in there because I new I could fit him into my rant.** **And it's being set up for my next chapter.**

**REVIEW!**

**NEXT CHAPTER:**

**DELAWARE: Come! We have low corporation fees, no, seriously, come?**


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